Retribution
by sari15
Summary: Heartache and desperation leads Tohru to make a heartfelt confession. She quickly discovers that maybe this can of worms was better left shut...


Spoilers through chapter 116

**Retribution**

-One Shot-

Tohru didn't get much time to herself these days. Between her promise to her mother to finish her schooling, her part-time job to pay for her tuition for school, the housework she did in return for room and board for the Sohma's, she found most of her free time was spent trying to figure out how to break the curse before spring.

She _had_ to break the curse before spring.

Sighing, she finished chopping the peppers before adding them to the beef in the pan. Cooking dinner was something she enjoyed doing, it gave her time to think, time to herself. She needed that time lately, so much had happened lately and she needed to figure out what it all meant. She'd hugged Momiji last week and ended up getting the shock of her life—nothing had happened.

It should have made her happy. She _was_ happy, for Momiji. He deserved his freedom but his release didn't get her any closer to saving Kyou. Momiji didn't know why he'd been released, what he'd done to break the bond. In the end all it left her holding was yet another secret of the Sohma family.

'_Both Kureno and Momiji found a way to release the bond with the curse, but how?' _ Tohru picked up the spatula and mixed up the vegetables and beef with a sigh, she'd been over it a million times in the past week and couldn't come up with anything. There had to be something they were all missing, she refused to believe that the curse was weakening and that the bonds would break on their own.

That wouldn't save Kyou…it had to break now. There was too long between Kureno's curse breaking and Momiji's. Who knows when the next one would sever?

'_This isn't helping, Tohru,'_ she growled to herself. _'Not that I even know if Kyou wants his curse broken…he wants to be a real part of the family. For all I know, the curse makes him feel like he is a part of it.'_

The front door sliding open before slamming shut jarred her from her thoughts making her wonder who'd come home early. Seconds later she found herself graced with the presence of the one person in her life that guaranteed her knees go a little weak. "Kyou, you're home early!"

Ignoring her, he headed straight to the refrigerator as Tohru felt her heart leap into her throat for what was probably the thousandth time in the past few weeks. _ 'I don't understand,'_ she thought, refusing to let the tears swell in her eyes as she watched him take the milk out. _'Sure, he's been cranky, rude and even mean in the past but he's always talked to me. Always acted like he's wanted me around…that he liked being my friend. Why has he been ignoring me lately?'_

He'd obviously been at the Dojo, the black sweatpants and tee-shirt that he wore when he worked out coupled with the towel draped over his neck were a dead giveaway. Watching as he drank straight out of the carton before tossing the empty container in the trash, she realized that this was the first time they'd been in a room alone in over a month.

"_What?_"

"Oh!" she cried, flushing with embarrassment as she realized she'd just been standing there stupidly gaping at him. She hadn't expected him to actually _say_ something to her, it'd been so long since she last heard his voice. "I was…I was just surprised to see you home so early. I wasn't sure if you'd make it home for dinner or not."

"Yeah, Shishou swore he was going to do the cooking tonight. I decided I wasn't ready to die yet," Kyou laughed, giving her a small smile as he washed his hands in the kitchen sink.

Hope swelled within Tohru at the simple gesture, she hadn't gotten a word out of him in the past few weeks and now he was acting as if the whole past few weeks hadn't ever happened. _'Which only leaves me more confused. I really wish he'd tell me what was going on…I thought he was mad at me or something.'_

"Shigure and Rat-boy here?" he asked, drying his hands on a dishtowel before opening the cabinet with the plates and glasses in it.

She couldn't help grinning, "Shigure is working in his office and Yuki should be home any minute now. So if you're gonna be here, all four of us can eat together!"

"Great…" he muttered.

"It's been forever since we did that!"

"You find happiness in the strangest things," he sighed, taking out plates and glasses. "They always seem to be the things that drive me nuts, too."

"Having dinner with everyone isn't strange," she defended.

"Sure it is," he answered, setting the table. "Something always gets broke, someone always fights or gets mad, and I don't know what you find so nice about it."

'_Strangely, that 'someone' is usually you Kyou…'_ she thought to herself with a smile. "I just like having everyone around, is all."

"Having everyone around drives me crazy," he replied, pulling a serving dish from the cabinet just as she found herself thinking that she needed one. "I'd rather just eat alone, I think."

Shaking her head in surprise as she took the dish from him, "You don't have to eat at the table with us, Kyou. I can always make you something to take to your room. It's not like you won't bring the dishes back like the other two."

"I didn't mean…I like…I mean…" he sighed, dragging a hand through his orange hair as he fought for the words he was looking for. "I don't mind you; the other two drive me nuts. I don't mind eating with you, Tohru."

"Oh?" she blushed, preoccupying herself by putting the beef and vegetable mixture in the serving dish as he pulled out another dish for the rice. "I-I thought you were mad at me lately. You've been—I thought you were ignoring me…I didn't know what I did."

The silence in the room was deafening, stabbing her through the heart. _'Say _something_, Kyou. Please! Saying nothing is worse than telling me that I said something that made you mad. Lie to me, just tell me _something_!' _

"Stupid girl," he mumbled, hitting her in the forehead with affection. "You never do anything that upsets me."

'_Too late, you waited too long…'_ she thought, noting that in the seconds that had elapsed since she asked the façade that he'd been holding had fell. Something was wrong, whatever had been bothering him lately had to do with her. He turned away and filled the dish in his hand with the rice, acting like nothing was wrong when the atmosphere in the room had suddenly become unbearable to even Tohru.

'_Sometimes you have to fully open a wound for it to heal correctly. If you don't there is a chance that it could get infected and make everything worse. Sometimes you have to risk pain to make sure you didn't miss part of what is hurting you.'_

Staring at the dinner she'd made, she couldn't tear her gaze away as her mother's words flooded her head. _'Is this what you meant, Mom? I don't know if I can do that…'_ Her hands were shaking as she picked up the dish and slowly walked it to the table. _'I already know the answer…it's obvious. I have to do it though; I won't heal right if I don't.'_

He finished emptying the contents of the rice cooker into the serving dish before turning to take the bowl to the table. His face had fallen back into the indifferent expression that had graced it these past few weeks, crimson eyes lacking the fire that normally lit them. "Kyou?" she started, wringing her hands together to stop them from shaking as she stared at her socks, not wanting to look at him as she told him. "I know you probably don't want to hear this right now. But, I think I need to say it—if only for myself. When mom used to tell me stories about the zodiac, I always wanted to switch to be under the Year of the Cat. I knew it didn't exist, but that's where I wanted to be."

Lifting her head as she heard the quiet snort, she saw the remnants of small smile as it disappeared from his face. Surprising her, that smile gave her courage that she needed at that moment to tell him the truth. "I've met all twelve members of the zodiac in your family, as well as the cat and the god. I love them all, but the cat is still my favorite. I…I fell in love with the cat. I fell in love with you."

Tohru watched as Kyou's face turned from surprise to horror, breaking her heart open as wide as it could possibly get. Closing her eyes tight, she forced the words out. "I love you, Kyou."

The shattering of the rice dish on the floor was the only thing interrupting the silence. Opening her eyes to stare at the mess on the floor, she couldn't help wondering _'I wonder if that's what my heart looks like. That's what it feels like.'_

"I…I can't…" were the only words Tohru heard before she found herself alone in the kitchen. She vaguely heard the front door slam open as Kyou ran from the house.

Sinking to the floor as her legs gave out, as the tears started to fall, she whispered, "At least that's one secret I no longer have to keep."

OoOoOoOoO

Reaching out to open the front door, he found himself almost knocked down in the process as an orange blur flew past him at a full sprint. "Baka neko," Yuki muttered, taking his shoes off as he stepped inside.

"What was that?"

Looking up to find himself face to face with Shigure as he came out of his office, Yuki shrugged. "Just that stupid cat, he's not even watching where he's going but running like the hounds were after him."

"No, I meant the crash in the kitchen."

"I didn't hear anything from the--" Yuki's eyes widened as the pieces clicked together. Shigure must have come to a similar conclusion because they both ran to door of the kitchen. "Miss Honda!"

Huddled on the floor amongst a broken dish of rice sat Tohru Honda looking as if she'd just lost her best friend. Slowly she looked up, trying to smile at them as if nothing was wrong, but failing miserably. "I'm sorry, there w-was a little a-accident with the rice. I-I'm going to have to m-make some m-more."

"Tohru, forget about the rice!" Shigure growled, storming over to her and helping her to her feet. Slowly he walked her to a chair at the table and helped her sit down. "We can always order out, it's not a big deal. What happened?"

The ball of anger that slowly swirled in Yuki's gut grew at her next words. "I-It's my fault. I s-shouldn't have s-said anything. He d-didn't mean to drop the r-rice." How she managed to talk through the tears he wouldn't know.

"It's okay, Tohru. Crying is good for a broken heart," Shigure said patting her hand, which only made her cry harder.

Unable to stand there and watch anymore, Yuki stormed for the front door determined to go beat some sense into Kyou. He didn't think the cat had gone far from the house, if he wasn't on the roof, Yuki could guess where he was. He checked the roof as he walked, but since this was something more serious then pouting—he doubted the neko would be there. No sign of Kyou on the roof, strangely it was something Yuki considered a good sign.

As he'd predicted, Yuki found Kyou huddled in almost the exact position as they'd found Tohru moments earlier—in the meadow she'd accepted Kyou's monster form. Slowly making his way to Kyou, he tried to give as much warning as he could before he got there. "Baka neko, you'll transform from stress if you aren't careful."

"Go away."

Flinching, he'd expected some fight at least; the murmured reply wasn't what he'd anticipated. Sighing, Yuki changed tactics, as he took a stab on what must have happened in the kitchen. "Must be terrible to have the girl you are madly in love with come out of the blue and tell you how much she loves you."

The cat stiffened, balling his hands at his sides as he slowly got to his feet. "You have no idea what you are even talking about."

"You just threw away the best thing you have ever had in your life, stupid cat!"

"_You know nothing about me!_" Kyou screamed lunging as Yuki dodged his right hook.

"I know you wear your heart on your sleeve, that you do love her. Even _Hiro _knew it! So why is she sitting in the kitchen crying to Shigure?" Yuki replied, easily blocking a kick to his face.

"She'll get over it!" Kyou screamed, frantically throwing reckless punches without any sign of the black belt training he held. In all of Yuki's years fighting Kyou, he'd never seen anywhere near this level of desperation in the cat's eyes—that had nothing to do with winning the fight.

"Keep telling yourself that," he said snidely, easily dodging the mindless moves of the cat. "I can even give you some to use too. How about, 'It's just a crush' or 'She falls in love with a different guy every week'? I am sure you'll agree with both of those."

"She wasn't supposed to love me," Kyou growled, finally connecting with Yuki's chin. "I don't deserve her. You were supposed to win her! Hell, Momiji or Shigure could have won her—anyone but _me_!"

"You're such a baka!" Yuki dodged a kick to the abdomen before throwing a right hook to the cat's cheek. "You won her years ago. No one else stood a chance."

Apparently, that news was something Kyou hadn't known. He didn't try to dodge the kick to his face at all, just stood there in shock. The impact sent the cat flying across the field before landing and sliding to a stop. Watching as he slowly sat up, glaring at the ground for a long moment as he tried to process all the information Yuki had given him. "How? Why the hell didn't I _know_ this?"

"Baka neko spent all his time hiding his own feelings to notice hers?" Yuki said with a smile, earning him a crimson glare in return. "What's so wrong with her loving you? Why would you want to fall in love with…oh wait never mind. You're the cat…"

"It has nothing to do with the curse, kuso nezumi!" Kyou growled, getting to his feet and storming away. "Just add it to my long list of punishments for what I've done."

"Yeah, it's such a punishment finding out the person you are in love with loves you. I don't know about you, but I would much rather find out someone didn't love me," Yuki sarcastically replied.

"You don't know what you are asking me to do," Kyou said quietly, turning to shake his head at Yuki in disgust. "This is going to make everything worse."

"All I know is she needs to know the truth, whatever it is," Yuki turned to walk back to the house. Looking over his shoulder he added, "If I ever see Miss Honda that heartbroken again, I will escort you into your cell myself. I don't care if you are done with school yet."

OoOoOoOoOoO

It took him a little time to get the nerve up to confront her, but he knew that the rat was right. He'd waited long enough; it wasn't Tohru's fault that she'd fallen for him. If he'd told her the truth in the beginning like he should have, he wouldn't be in this situation right now. It would have been so simple to tell her when he first moved in; it wasn't like he hadn't known who she was. He hadn't been able to do it; he'd tried a million times over the past couple of years and hadn't been able to tell her.

The entire thing blowing up in his face was his fault, and it wouldn't go away.

The admission would easily turn her love into hate, which was fine with him. He deserved it. The truth would sever the friendship they'd formed, and that would be hard for him. But, his feelings didn't matter, only hers. Tohru wouldn't be able to handle the heartache, and he wouldn't be able to do anything to help her. He was the problem.

He'd checked her room and hadn't found her, which had been his first obstacle. Checking every room in the house three times hadn't made her suddenly appear either, which just ticked him off. Checking the kitchen for the fourth time, only to find Shigure for the seventh time in his search was the final straw.

"Are you _trying_ to piss me off?"

"Ahhh…Lucky-Kyou is unable to find our little flower?"

He didn't trust himself to answer the novelist, choosing to glower at the pervert instead.

"Is that what you were doing? I couldn't tell if you were trying to yank all of the doors off their tracks or doing a Godzilla impersonation by showing off your spectacular stomping skills around the house."

"Fuck you! Where's Tohru?"

Shigure gave Kyou a slight grin, "Perhaps she's not ready to be found."

Kyou growled, slamming his hands on the table and glaring at Shigure as he slowly asked, "Where is Tohru?"

"Maybe if you go pout on the roof, the answer will come to you."

'_The roof? Why didn't I think of that?'_ he thought, sprinting outside.

Quickly making his way up the ladder, he grabbed the edge of the roof to push himself up. At his arrival, Tohru glanced up, frantically wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. He felt his heart drop watching her try to remove the evidence of her upset with him.

'_Who would fall in love with the cat besides Tohru?'_

"I'm s-sorry," she mumbled, scrambling to her feet. "I shouldn't have c-come up here. I just—I'm always—I think," Tohru sighed, shaking her head as she wiped fresh tears from her cheeks. "I'll just go."

Kyou grabbed her upper arm as she tried to walk past him. '_This is part of my punishment, I deserve this.'_ Slowly letting out a shaky sigh, he managed to choke out, "We need to talk. Sit down."

"I'm sorry Kyou!" She blurted as fresh tears welled in her eyes. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so stupid, making a big deal out of nothing."

"It's not nothing!" he growled, not liking to hear her call herself stupid. "I thought I told you to sit down."

Shocked, she scrambled to the ground, wringing her hands as she refused to make eye contact with him. "There's really nothing to explain Kyou. Girls ask Yuki and you out all the time, you never return any of their feelings. Why should it be any different with me?"

"That has nothing to do with it Tohru."

"But…"

"There's a lot you don't know about me yet," he sighed, not sure how to explain everything.

"I know about graduation, but the curse-"

"This isn't about the curse—wait—you know about graduation?"

She nodded.

Trying to wrap his brain around that was proving to be more than he could handle at the moment. Shaking his head in frustration, he growled, "We'll come back to that later…maybe…"

"O-okay…" she said, biting her lip. "This isn't about the curse?"

"No, not really," he replied, feeling his throat choke up as he thought about what he needed to tell her. "I should have told you this a long time ago, but never could get the nerve to explain. This is something that happened before I moved into Shigure's house, before I ever really met you."

She nodded, fear clouding her blue eyes as she waited for him to start his explanation.

"Being cursed with the cat made me a really bitter and angry child, mad at the world for the fate I had been left with. I didn't really have any friends. Shishou did what he could to help me, and I am grateful, but he wasn't always enough."

"Of course you were an angry child," Tohru said softly.

Kyou closed his eyes tightly; frustrated at the whole situation with Tohru. "Tohru, I really need you to be quiet and just listen. I don't want your sympathy, I don't deserve it."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, the scared tremor of her voice slicing through his already broken heart.

"I ran away a lot, I don't know if I thought that it would somehow bring me freedom or if I did it for attention—I just ran."

Kyou pulled his knees up to his chin as he sat and stared at the sunset. "I was about nine when I first met her. I must have looked terrible because she pegged me for a runaway almost immediately. Most people would have called the police or just taken me home—she didn't. She sat on the curb with me and just talked. Slowly she got me to open up, to learn who I was, where I came from, what I was doing, why I was alone.

"She was easy to talk to and it wasn't long before I found myself back at Shishou's. It was the start of a strange relationship. I'd run away from Shishou's, she'd find me, I'd find myself back at Shishou's several hours later. Pretty soon, I found myself just wanting to be around her. She understood me…said I reminded her of herself at that age. In my eyes, she was a strange mix of friend and mother—neither of which I'd never really had. She accepted me-- transformation and all.

"She loved to tease me though. Had a daughter my age and tried to get me to meet her, but I couldn't risk trying to befriend an outside girl." Kyou smiled sadly at the irony of the situation, "She occasionally sent me to check on her daughter if she was working late, but I would just look in the windows or watched her from afar. I never got close enough to be seen by her daughter, though. 'She's perfect for you, Kyou.' 'You need to meet her; she'd steal your heart.' 'Isn't she the cutest, Kyou?'"

Sighing, he buried his head in his hands, taking a shaky breath before choking out, "'I told her about the legend of the Chinese zodiac. She wants to be under the year of the cat, it's her favorite.'"

The sob that followed ripped his soul, but he continued. "She found me skipping school one day and laid into me about how important it was that I finish. 'Don't follow in my footsteps, Kyou. You have so much potential, so much ahead of you.' I told her finishing would be a waste of time since I'd be spending my days in a cell like the rest of the cats. What good would an education do me in there?"

Wiping the stray tear that had managed to escape off his cheek, he couldn't even look at Tohru. "Needless to say she got pretty pissed and the argument that ensued made both of us lose track of where we were. It wasn't until she shoved me out of the way that I even saw the car, by that time it was too late. I couldn't do anything—couldn't help." Choking on a sob, he gasped for breath before managing to whisper, "I couldn't do anything. I-It should have been me."

The sun had gone down, leaving them surrounded with darkness that wasn't nearly as black as his heart felt at that moment. His instincts screamed for him to run, to get as far away from her as he could get. Being there with her would only bring her pain. Instead, he sat next to her, and listened as she cried—letting his own tears fall as he stared into the bleak of the night.

Several minutes later, overwhelmed by the situation and unable to remain any longer he slowly got to his feet. "I-I'm so s-sorry, Tohru," he mumbled, taking the opportunity to memorize this moment for when he needed a reminder of why he'd gone to the fate of the cat with his own free will.

Tohru with her knees pulled up to her face, her yellow ribbons untied and hanging limply as her chestnut hair fell over her face and down her legs. Her shoulders shaking as she sobbed quietly. Fighting his urge to comfort her, he forced himself to turn and leave—only to be stopped by a small hand grabbing his wrist.

Surprised he turned to see her slowly raise her face to look at him, her blue eyes holding a hint of hopefulness. "You k-knew my m-mom? All this time, you knew h-her?"

Speechless, all he could do was nod.

Giving him a watery smile, she tugged on his hand, trying to get him to sit down with her again. "Tohru…"

Ignoring the slight warning, Tohru rattled on, "Do you k-know what one of the first things Uo said about you? I d-don't remember what her exact words were, but I think it was s-something like, 'I wish Kyoko could have met orange top, she would have teased the hell outta him.' I-It makes me happy knowing that she was an important part of your life too, I just wish I'd been able to see it."

Kyou stared at her, feeling himself start to crack as a torrent of emotions assaulted him. This girl—this woman had proven time and time again to be the most amazing and important thing in his life. Trying not to smile at her pitiful impersonation of the Yankee, hope swelled within him as she smiled at him, even as tears still fell down her cheeks. Her hand still clutched his, almost as if she believed letting go would make him disappear.

"I shouldn't have put that burden on you though, Kyou. I shouldn't have said anything," Tohru sighed, slowly taking her hand from his. "You have enough to worry about besides me. I stepped over our boundaries in our friendship—I shouldn't have done that. I can't take what I said back, but I hope that things can maybe go back to normal after awhile. I've missed your friendship."

Sighing, Kyou sat down next to her. "She was right about you. Once I met you, I couldn't let go. I fell for the one person I can't have, I took your mom away but still couldn't leave you. I kept telling myself it was my punishment, but the truth is I was selfish. I just needed you near me, I didn't care how."

Tohru's eyes widened in shock, "You…?"

"Hell, even Hiro apparently knew. How the hell could you _not_ have known?"

"Well…I-I…" she stammered, making Kyou decide that the best light to view a blush was by moonlight, he didn't think she'd ever looked more beautiful.

"Whatever…we're both idiots," he grumbled, remembering Yuki's comments during the fight.

Quietly they both sat side by side, staring at the stars as they almost slipped back into the comfortable companionship they'd shared these past years. Still, something felt off to Kyou. That fear still hadn't left him.

Several silent minutes later, Tohru finally broke the quiet. "She chose for you to live, Kyou. To her your life meant something, or she wouldn't have saved you."

"You should hate me Tohru…"

"Why? Your life brings her death meaning. I've never had that before, there was no reason. She gave her life for you."

"I didn't deserve it!" he growled.

"You do, Kyou. Give her sacrifice meaning," she pressed, making his stomach drop with a mixture of hope and fear. "Fight for your freedom—for my mom, for me. The curse can be--"

Her eyes widened in surprise as his hands embraced her face, his body took on a will of it's own. Covering her mouth with his, he sought absolution from the one thing that brought the light into his life as his lips slowly caressed hers. Without thought, she granted what he asked for as she hesitantly began to kiss him back and slowly offered him more of herself.

Selfishly he took everything she gave, wanting to heal the heart and soul that he'd damaged. Slowly moving one hand to thread into her hair as her hands shyly began to explore the planes of his chest before gripping his tee-shirt in her fists. A growl of satisfaction at her response, he tightened his hold on the back of her head sliding in to taste her. The kiss became heated, fiery and quickly began to spiral out of his control but even in his passionate haze, he still realized the moment she tried to press against him. Moving fast to avoid transformation, he grabbed her wrists with his hands so they were forced to keep a little distance between them. Resting his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath, still unsure of what he'd done to deserve Tohru.

She looked up in confusion, passion turning her eyes a darker blue making him give her a little smile before pressing a single chaste kiss on her lips. Her eyes widened as she realized what she almost did, "I'm _so_ sorry!"

Unable to help himself, he smirked, "Yeah…we'll have to play with that. See what we can do without transforming."

"O-Oh?" she said, eyes widening in surprise as her cheeks flushed scarlet.

'_Damn it, I sound like a perv!'_ "I didn't mean—It's just—I mean—Aww hell, nevermind," he growled, turning away from her as his cheeks heated. Sighing, he tried again. "I just meant that we've got all the time we need to figure that out. I didn't want that one to end with _that_."

"Do you mean that, Kyou? Do we really have time?"

The hope in her voice made his stomach drop, "How did you hear about that?"

"Akito…"

Clenching his hands as his temper flew, he didn't dare himself to speak. _'Of all the low, dirty…'_

"I don't want to lose you, Kyou."

"Not happening," he growled. "Not without a fight, not now."

Tohru grinned, launching herself into his arms. Instantly he found himself cradled tightly against her chest as she snuggled him in his cat form. "Good!"

"_What the hell did you do that for?_"

"I need to get it while I can. Tohru Honda is gonna break this curse!"

"You're delusional!" he growled, trying to wiggle out of her grip. "Damn cat lover."

"Year of the Cat Fan Club, that's me!" she laughed, rubbing his ears. "Anyway, there's a few things I need to tell you about breaking the curse…"

OoOoOoOoO

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


End file.
